Feliz Cumpleaños TAURUS!

A tango romance is on the horizon and you'll feel the warmth of the abrazo deepen after the 6th. Your birthday vals will attract all the exotic flowers of the milonga. Breathe deeply and take in the wonderful scents of all the beautiful people who embrace you. One blossom smells especially sweet and you cannot resist the urge to pluck. Your lucky place to score is at the late night restaurant after the milonga. It's over those huevos at sunrise that you'll find true love. Your feet may be aching but your belly and heart will be full. The 7th and the 12th are your lucky dates for romance.

GEMINI

You have become one of the "disappeared". The milongas seem too much for you now. You can't tolerate the couples struggling to communicate and the painfully awkward fits on the dance floor hurt your eyes. It reminds you of the awful mess of the world, not to mention, the unpleasant difficulties in your own relationships. Hang in there. By the 21st, you'll be ready to emerge from hiding. You'll see more perfect unions that inspire you to find some bliss in your own.

CANCER

It's a lot of work (and money) to keep your dance partners happy. You'll be on the dance floor all night long because no one will take no for an answer right now. They also won't refuse letting you pay the milonga entrance fee and the dinner and drinks bill! At home, though, you won't be able to buy or dance your way out of anything. Expect resistance from a housemate until the 22nd.

LEO

Set the choreography for that big show called 'Your Life'. Now is the time to choose your long-term direction and work hard toward fulfilling those big plans. As long as you are responsible and respectful of the codas, the planets will bless and support your success and everyone will clear the dance floor and make room for you to shine.

VIRGO

Your determination is terrifying. Was that a boleo or a WMD* you just released!? Be careful not to hurt those around you in your quest for strength and perfection. A safer way for you to experiment would be by going on a shopping spree. You can work on updating your wardrobe and the only thing you'll kick up is a harmless pile of clothes that don't fit in your quest for perfecting your tango look.                         *weapon of mass destruction

Libra

This month will be hard to bear. In your heart lives every sad tango song that was ever sung. I don't know what to tell you except to keep yourself away from pistols and pills. Close your eyes when you dance and let the bandoneón ease your pain. These feelings will pass by the 27th when a milonguero in the psychiatric field opens the door to your soul and brings relief.

SCORPIO

Some very juicy gossip colgadas round your ears on the 16th. Tongues traspie and ears wiggle like milonguero bellies. O yes, this is good stuff. You'll have a good laugh and a nod not to mention all those cabeceos and eyes beckoning you on to the dance floor. That is until you whisper and wag your tongue in the wrong ear. Oops, too late to take a back step now. No way to undo what you have done. Don't worry - your sidestep is wide enough to steer you clear of all the trouble you've just caused.

SAGITTARIUS

You are acting very independent and like Garbo, you prefer to be alone. This attitude is not good for your tango. It will however get you some much needed beauty sleep. Don't be surprised to hear that people think you have dropped out of the tango scene. Ha, little do they know, you are continuing with your PRIVATE lessons, and will wow them all when you return to the milongas.

CAPRICORN

What a selfish goat! You found the perfect partner and you are hogging him/her all night. It sure feels good and you are oblivious to the nasty stares coming your way. Close your eyes and hang on tight. A fit like this is rare and won't last after the 21st.

AQUARIUS

You are the inventor of new and innovative steps. You practice them all at home and when you step out, wow, what a show off! You'll need to stay on your toes to hold on to your new position at the top. Friends in high places (like the Argentine Consulate) will help you accomplish your goals. Try tangoing to "Just a Gigolo" and use some of those sexy moves to woo the ones who can insure your success.

 
PISCES

Ghosts of tangos past are haunting you. There may even be a poltergeist in your shoe bag. Light a vela in the church, and repeatedly make the steps of the cross while the dj plays a long Biagi tanda (it must include el 13) to exorcise the evil spirits from your dance.

ARIES

You are blessed with prosperity, safety in travel, and a mysterious exciting edge. All your dancing dreams are about to come true. It may also seem like a nightmare when you step into a big pile of mierda while wearing your favorite shoes. It's ok; don't change them because this brings you suerte. By the 25th, you will tango right into dinero. Enjoy the wealth and use it on your pilgrimage to Tango Mecca.

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  May 2006